What is one example of "small stuff" that you have let go recently?
One thing that I have let get to me recently is what other people think about me. Now this can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It can be a good thing because if I don’t worry about what people think about me at all then I could look unprofessional. You need to be aware of what people think about you but only up to a certain point. After you reach that point then it can become a negative thing because you can start caring about what other people think about you more than what you think about yourself. By doing this you will start to sacrifice doing what makes you happy. I have begun to learn to let go of what people think about me at a certain point.
Chapter 2: Make Peace With imperfection
How does your 'ego' distract you?
My ego can be both good for me and bad for me. It can be good for me because it helps me make sure that I am challenging myself with everything that I do. I do this so that nothing is too easy and I don't get bored of things because I know that I can handle more of a challenge. But my ego can also be bad for me because when I challenge myself too much and then I am unable to take on that challenge and I am forced to quit or ask for help it really frustrates me. By being frustrated I get distracted from the task at hand rather than taking a step back to see what I could do differently. Getting frustrated causes me to fail more or need more help which just makes everything worse in the end. I am still working on coping with this and getting over my ego by asking for help with certain things but it is a slow process.
Chapter 3: Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't Be Super achievers
Thoughts on, "When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns, Its thus easier to focus, achieve your goals, and give back to others.
The way that I have interpreted this quote is that it means once you have discovered your inner peace and you are truly happy with who YOU are, then you will be able to let go of your materialistic desires. You will stop being concerned with, “the small stuff” and you will be able to focus on bigger and better things in your life that affect you for the better. And by letting go of these materialistic desires and concerns you will be able to shower the people around you in your love, time, and dedication so that you can also help them find their own inner peace.
Chapter 4: Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking
Do you notice how your mind and your body feel when your thinking is out of control?
I have noticed that when I get stressed out or nervous my palms begin to sweat, I play with my fingers and crack my knuckles, and I will scratch my back and my shoulder a lot. I begin to feel weird and almost somewhat unconscious as if I am not really there or I'm dreaming. Depending on what I'm stressing about I will begin to feel really tired or emotionally drained before and after the event occurs. The way that I have been able to cope with this is just to think positive. I try to get rid of all my negative thoughts by thinking that everything will workout and it will turn out okay in the end.
Chapter 5: Develop Your Compassion
Can you recall a time where you made something "big" and dramatic when in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
I am guilty of doing this all the time because I am a huge over thinker. If I get even remotely stressed out over something it instantly becomes my number one priority to finish it and get it over with. But by doing this I make myself think that it is much more important than it actually is and I will end up putting way too much effort and time into the project. By using all of my time and effort on this one small project I lose a lot of time and energy that I needed for the rest of my projects and homework.
Chapter 6: Remind Yourself that When You Die Your, "In Basket" Won't Be Empty
What does your "In Basket" look like? And will it be there tomorrow...
My in Basket is huge. There are so many things that I want to do in this short life and I only have one so I need to make it count. I want to go skydiving, do a back flip at a cliff jumping place, learn to dunk, conquer my fears, start a family, keep that family healthy and loving, become a grandparent and maybe even a great grandparent, and have no regrets in life. Now this basket is constantly filling with new things but my overall goal is to LIVE my life. I have recently realized that you truly only live once so why should I waste my time being afraid to do a back flip or jump off of a tall rock. This small change has already made me so much happier because I am doing more things with a lot less fear because I now know that I need to have as much fun as I can while I still can. My goals will be here not only tomorrow but for the rest of my life. They might change a little bit here and there but in the end my basket will still be full because it keeps refilling whenever I do something new.
Chapter 7: Don't Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences
Do You believe your a strong listener of you could use some work?
I believe that Sometimes I am a strong listener and other times I'm not. You can always get better at everything that you do so I could definitely use some work. For me, being a good listener depends on a lot of different things. If I am tired then I find it hard to concentrate on what the person is saying and give them 100% of my attention. It also depends on who I am talking to. If I am talking to someone who I know well and really care for, then it is a lot easier for me to give them my attention. It is harder for me to give someone who I don’t know as well my attention because I don’t know how to help them as well and it is not as important to me as one of my best friends. Overall my listening skills could use some work but they aren’t horrible.
Chapter 8: Do Something Nice for Someone Else and Don't Tell Anyone About It
Recall a time you have given, did you accept acknowledgment?
A time that I have given was when I volunteered my time at a community hospice event in Modesto, California. I was volunteering with a couple of my friends at an event called santa shares. We were in charge of serving people their breakfast and cleaning up the tables when everyone was done eating. I was not expecting to be praised as much as I was but it made me feel really good. Even a simple thank you when I put a couple pancakes on someone's plate felt nice. We were even offered a few tips but we respectfully declined them because we were volunteering out time and found that the tips were not necessary.
Chapter 9: Let Others Have the Glory
Have You ever experienced someone else 'stomping' on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
I have experienced someone else stomping on my glory before. It made me feel sad and it also made me feel like no one cared what I had to say. I was passionate about something and I wanted to share it with someone and when I shared it they completely shut me down and made me feel like they didn't care what I had to say. Personally this is one of my least favorite feelings in the world. Normally if I have something to tell you then it is really important to me and when I just get shut down or someone makes my accomplishment look like it is a lot less important than it is it makes me feel sad. I hope that I never do that to someone else especially if it is on purpose because I know that I don’t like how it feels.
Chapter 10: Learn to Live in the Present Moment
What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
Normally if I begin to think too far ahead and leave the present moment I will take a step back and take a second to just breathe and think about what is happening right now. I don’t have to do this very often but it typically happens when I am getting stressed out or my schedule is becoming busy again and I have a lot of homework and don’t know what to do. Normally if I just walk away or take a short break everything becomes okay and I can get back to what I was doing.
Chapter 11: Imagine that Everyone is Enlightened Except You
Think of a time you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught...what did you learn?
Personally I have three stages of mad, there is slightly annoyed, mad, and really really mad. And when I am really really mad I almost can’t control what I am doing or saying. I have learned that once I get to the point where I am a little more than mad I just need to walk away. I need to walk away and go think about or do something else to get my mind off of whatever is bothering me because if I don’t do this and I become really really mad than I know I will regret it later because I will do something really dumb or say something dumb. I think the most important thing that I have learned from being frustrated is to pick your battles. You should not get super worked up about something that is of little importance and won’t matter in the long run.
Chapter 12: Let Others Be "Right" Most of the Time
Challenge: the next time you are in a discussion/argument, let the other person be right and take notice of the initial feeling that transpires.
Over time I have begun to realize that sometimes being right is not worth arguing about. Sometimes the argument that you have and what you say to the other person during the argument will hurt you or them a lot more that it would have to, “lose the argument” and be wrong. The other day I was arguing with one of my best friends, I can’t even remember what we were arguing about because it was that unimportant, we both said some things that we didn’t mean and we hurt each other a lot more than it would have hurt to be wrong and lose the argument. I have also noticed that sometimes, depending on how the other person reacts, losing an argument is not so bad, sometimes it even feels kind of good because you learned something and the other person is happy.
Chapter 13: Become More Patient
Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are so very small in this vast world and really your ‘drama’ isn’t that big a deal?
Yes, I think about this a lot. I think that it is really, really weird that in a couple hundred years no one will have any idea who I was or anything about me. No one will ever say my name when referencing me besides maybe my great great great great great great grandkids when they look at the family tree. And who knows if I will even have great great great great great great grandkids because the world might have exploded by then or something. It is crazy to put into perspective just how little of an effect we have on the world and how despite the fact that in the end it won't matter, we still make a huge deal about little things in life that in the end don’t even matter.
Chapter 14: Create "Patience Practice Periods"
Do you have a “Mantra”, a statement, that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
I kind of have a Mantra but it's not very specific or something that I really say. My, “Mantra” is to be a better version of myself everyday. More specifically I want to be better myself somehow every day. My main goals recently have been to get bigger and stronger and look better. I am happy with how I look now but I strive to look better and be stronger. I try to workout with my friends as much as possible and push myself during football and basketball conditioning to achieve this. I want to get better at something every single day for the rest of my life and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
Chapter 15: Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out
Have you lost a relationship because something “small” created a “big” divide
Yes, I have lost a relationship over something “small” that created a “big” divide. During the summer going into freshman year I met another boy my age and we instantly hit it off and got pretty close within a short period of time. We later found out that we had five classes together every day for highschool. On top of all of that, we played all the same sports and had very similar hobbies. Spending all this time together caused us to grow very close very fast and he had become one of my best friends if not my best friend within a matter of months. For the entire school year we were really close and spent almost every second together. When the CoronaVirus happened and everyone went into lockdown, I was the only person that he was allowed to hangout with and we hung out every day. We became the closest that we ever had over the next two months. After a while we would hangout a little too much and we began to get annoyed with each other. We had an argument about something really small and stupid and I don’t even remember what it was anymore and we stopped talking and hanging out for around two weeks because we were annoyed at each other and I went on vacation. Because of this small argument we slowly drifted further and further apart until we were barely friends anymore. I have learned a lot from this.
Chapter 16: Ask Yourself the Question, “Will This Matter a Year from Now?”
What do you hope to do a year from now?
A year from now I hope to be one of the sports commissioners at Ripon High School, This is a job that I have wanted since freshman year but I decided that I wanted to try out being the Sophomore Class Administrative Assistant instead of doing that. I plan to run for sports commissioner this year. Another thing that I hope to be doing next year is to be on the varsity basketball team at my school. I am really looking forward to basketball season next year. I also hope to have a 4.0 next year and be really involved in school and my community.
Chapter 17: Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn’t Fair
Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
No, life is not meant to be fair. I know that life is not meant to be fair because if it was, then everyone would grow up in the exact same home with the exact same family, and have the exact same childhood so that everyone would have the exact same opportunities. But this does not happen so life is not meant to be fair. This means that if life was meant to be fair then everyone would have the exact same opportunities and the same life. I know that life is not fair because I grew up with a twin brother and we couldn't always get the same Christmas presents or both get to choose what we wanted to have for dinner, because life is not fair, and it is not meant to be fair.
Chapter 18: Allow Yourself to Be Bored
Do you take the time to be bored?
Honestly...No. I do not take the time to allow myself to be bored. I should take the time to just sit down and close my eyes or stare at the ceiling and do absolutely nothing because I know that it is important to cherish the moments when I don’t have to be doing anything. When I am older there are going to be times when all that I want to be doing is nothing. I will be so overwhelmed and busy with my life that I will just want a break from it all…even if that means being bored and doing nothing. It took me a while to understand what Morty was saying but I understand it now and I am going to try harder to give myself time to be bored and just do nothing.
Chapter 19: Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
I was never taught to believe that high stress is a positive thing but over time I have learned this. In the society that we live in today it has become normal to believe that high stress is a positive thing. I think this is the case because no one really knows how to do nothing now. So when someone is doing something that is very stressful and it takes a lot of their energy, they feel like it is a positive thing because it makes them feel productive.
Chapter 20 - “Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter”
When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
I actually did this very recently. On Valentines day I wrote a letter of gratitude to my girlfriend because I like to hand write letters to people for important occasions. I do this for my mom on her birthday and for every mothers day, and I also do this for my dad for his birthdays and every fathers day. I probably should do it more often but this is not bad for now. I think that it is important to occasionally write people hand written letters or notes instead of texting them because it shows them that you took the time to sit down and actually write a letter instead of just texting them.
Chapter 21 - Imagine yourself at your own funeral
If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be? And why? If I could change anything about my life right now it would be to be less stressed out all the time. To some extent I think that stress is good because it motivates you to get things done and understand the importance of certain things. But stress can also be bad because it can affect your sleep, eating habits, and many other important things in your life. I have been really stressed lately because I have three AP classes this year, Spanish, leadership, and zero period sports conditioning on top of all of that. And on top of my busy school schedule this year I also have a job at the Juice it in Ripon. All of these factors have caused me to become extremely stressed and busy. I know that I need to just take a deep breath and chill out but that is really hard to do sometimes. I have been trying to get better at this but it is not an easy thing to do.
Chapter 22 - Repeat to yourself “Life Isn’t an Emergency
Describe a time or moment in your life when you turned something into an emergency. A time in my life when I turned something into an emergency when it wasn't an emergency was when I got a job. I currently work at the local Juice it up in my town. Towards the end of the year I mentioned to my parents that I wanted to get a job over the summer so that I could get a little extra cash and save up a little for college. They liked that Idea and told me I should start applying to different places in Ripon, where I live. I instantly started to worry about where I could apply and when I would have the job and what I have to do to get this job. I started to turn getting a job into an emergency instead of just taking my time and realizing that I was the person who originally wanted this job. I ended up getting the first job that I applied for and I still have it today. In the end there was no reason for me to stress out and turn this into an emergency when it really wasn't.
Chapter 23 - Experiment with Your Back Burner
Reflect on the quote, "It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that..."
I think that this quote means that sometimes you need to take a step back and take some time to unwind and relax so that your more intelligent and responsible side can come out. This will enable you to make good decisions so that you are more successful than trying to solve a problem right away. If you did not turn on the back burners and take a step back then you would probably end up making an irrational decision that you will regret later on. You will have wished that you would have taken the time to reflect and think logically instead of rushing to solve the problem. A time when I need to turn on the back burners instead of immediately reacting to something is when I am faced with a challenge like a test that I need to study for or homework that I need to do. Instead of instantly freaking out and pushing it away or scrambling to get it done, I could turn on the back burners. This would allow me to take a step back from the situation and help me find the time that is necessary to study for the test or complete the homework. By doing this I will save myself from not giving one hundred percent effort and doing a poor job on the test or homework. It will help me find ample time to be able to get my work done in a timely manner
Chapter 24: Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Than
Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why? I challenge you to communicate this gratitude with this person.
One person I would thank in this moment is my mother. My mom has been my biggest supporter for my entire life and I'm sure she will always be my biggest supporter. She is always able to help me when I am struggling with anything and she can always give me the best advice. She will always tell me the truth and give me her honest opinion when I need it, even if it is not always what I want to hear. She has always been able to set her things aside to help me with anything that I need. She has driven me around countless times and she provides me with everything that I need. She has raised me into the young man that I am today and I could not have asked for anyone better to do this.
Chapter 25: Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact and connection, what are your initial thoughts?
When I read this chapter I instantly connected with it. I struggle to maintain eye contact with anyone unless I have been great friends with them or known them for a very long time. If I do not feel a close personal connection with someone then I find it very difficult to maintain eye contact. I am not sure why this is but I will begin to look away and then every once in a while look back at their eyes and then look away again at some point. I begin to fidget with my hands and try to put my arms in a comfortable position but I find it very difficult at times. I understand that people all have very different opinions regarding eye contact. Some people find it respectful to look someone in the eye while they are talking and others think quite the opposite. I try to read people and see what they do so that I can make them feel as comfortable as possible but I normally end up doing what I think is most comfortable for me. I have been trying to get better with this for a very long time.
Chapter 26: Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day
When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don’t… explain.
I don't necessarily find any time in my day just to be present and quiet besides when I am going to bed or waking up in the morning. At these times I do not focus my attention on being present and quiet though, I just try to get out of bed or fall asleep. Instead of taking time to be present and quiet, I take time for myself towards the end of my day almost every day. During this time I am at the gym working out. I find peace when I know that I am doing something productive with my time and bettering myself such as building my body. I also like the struggle and challenge of lifting heavy weights and feeling the fatigue in my body. The gym is something that has been very stable in my life for the past year and something that has been a part of my life for around two to three years now. I really enjoy seeing the progress that I am able to make and I feel like the gym is a place where I am able to be present within my life.
Chapter 27: Imagine the People in Your Life as Tiny Infants and as 100 Year Old Adults
Describe a time when you have been frustrated with someone, but you “let-go” of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
There have been many times throughout my life when I have been frustrated with someone and I “let-go” of the situation and moved on. One time in particular when this happened was when my brother and I were in an argument about something pointless while we were driving to a friend's house. I don’t even remember what the argument was about because it was that unimportant. I knew I would have to be in the car with him for a long time and I did not want to be constantly arguing with him for the entire car ride so I just let go of the situation to prevent us from arguing anymore. I felt much better after I had done this because I knew that if I didn’t then we would be arguing for a long time and the car ride would have not gone well.
Chapter 28: Seek First to Understand
Describe a situation where you didn’t seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict
A time when I did not first seek to understand was when my brother and I got in a huge argument about who's turn it was to mow the lawn in the back yard. We both hate to mow the lawn in the back yard and it has to be mowed every two weeks during the winter. My brother told me that it was my turn to mow the lawn in the back because he did it last time. I told him that it was actually his turn because I did it last time. I vividly remembered that I had mowed the back lawn 2 weeks prior and that would make it his turn. Instead of listening to what he had to say, I continued to argue with him and would not let him try to explain it to him. Finally my mother got involved and listened to both of our stories and told me that my brother was right and it was my turn. I asked how that could be possible and she told me that since it was summer, the lawn needed to be mowed every week instead of every two weeks so it was my turn because I mowed it two weeks before hand but my brother mowed it one week before. This conflict was resolved in the end and I learned that it is important to listen to the full story before beginning to argue.
Chapter 29: Become a Better Listener
Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you? Describe this relationship.
Someone that I can talk to that I know will genuinely listen to me is one of my best friends, Teagan. Teagan is someone that I go to whenever I have a problem that I need to talk out with someone. If I am unsure of whether I am right or wrong then I explain the situation to her and listen to what she has to say because I know that she will always be honest with me and tell me exactly how something is. If I am completely wrong she will tell me, or if I am right she will tell me. She gives the best advice, and as much as I do not want to admit it, she is almost always right. She knows me just as well as I know myself and she can tell when I am off. She is a great listener and will always let me finish my entire story before she responds to what I am saying so that she can be sure she fully understands the situation. I am extremely grateful to have a friend like Teagan who is always there for me when I need it.
Chapter 30: Choose Your Battles Wisely
Describe a time when you “lost your Shhhh” and in reality it wasn’t worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn’t sweat the small stuff?
A time when I frequently used to lose my... was on the basketball court at recess in elementary school. Everyone used to get really into the games and it would cause a lot of tension between the players on opposite teams and even their own teams. I remember one time when I got picked last to be on one of the teams. The captain of the team who was picking did not like me at all and only picked me last to make me mad even though I was one of the best players on the court. The game got pretty heated and almost everyone began to argue. I remember getting fouled and not getting it called which made me really angry. I began to argue why I should have gotten the foul call and one of my friends began to yell at me that I was wrong. I instantly lost my... and we both said some hurtful things that we did not mean. We both apologized the next day and learned a lot from the situation.
Chapter 31: Become Aware of Your Moods and Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low One
Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Vise Versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had.
A time I was in a bad mood was the day after we lost a very important basketball game. I was angry pretty much the whole day the next day. I did not feel rested, I was hungry almost all day, and I was extremely irritable. I procrastinated my homework until the very end of the day. I also had a very bad practice at basketball and did not have a good workout either. My bad mood ruined my entire day. A time I had a good day recently was the day after my basketball team beat our town rivals, Ripon Christian. The next day I woke up in a good mood, had a good breakfast, and started my day off right. I was in a good mood all day, got my work done in class, and got my little amount of homework done when I got home. I had a great practice and a great workout, and overall had a great day.
Chapter 32: Life is a Test. It is Only a Test
As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
At this point in time in my life there are very many things that are causing me to have stress. The main cause of my stress right now is the upcoming AP tests. I have three AP classes this year and I will be taking all three AP tests. This means that I will have to study for the AP Environmental Science test, the AP English Language test, as well as the AP United States History test. I have been worrying about these tests for the past few months because I do not feel that I am adequately prepared to take these tests. The only test that I am somewhat confident about this year is the AP English Language test. I have begun to study a little bit but I do not want my entire life to be consumed with studying and preparing to take these tests because I know that it will cause me to be even more stressed and not have any fun. Instead of worrying about studying I think I need to look at it in a different way. I think I need to attempt to learn something new because that is something that I enjoy. And I no that this will make preparing for the tests much more bearable.
Chapter 33: Praise and Blame Are All the Same
You will not please everyone… how does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
I completely agree with this statement. As someone who always tries their very best to make sure that everyone is happy, this is a tough pill to swallow. However, I have heard this saying for many years from various different people in my life such as teachers, coaches, and relatives, and after a couple of years I think I finally understand it. Everyone wants and likes different things so it is not possible to always please everyone. And even if you could find a way to please everyone then it would most likely not be worth your time because when someone doesn’t like you or does not like something, it is going to be impossible to change their mind because if they really do not want to like you and if they are really stubborn than there is nothing you can do and they will not like whatever it is no matter what. At the end of the day it is not important to please everyone, if you are happy then that should be enough because your happiness should be a priority. As much as it sucks to know that you will not be able to make everyone happy, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and do your very best because that is all that matters.
Chapter 34: Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Describe a time when you completed a Random Act of Kindness, and how did it make you feel?
A time when I created a random act of kindness occurred when I lived in Beijing, China. I lived in a gated community that was fairly large. I had lived there for a couple of months at this time and I had made a decent amount of friends in my neighborhood. The city had hired street cleaners to ride bikes around and pick up trash as well as sweep the streets and things of that sort. There was a lady who always cleaned my street and we would see her almost everyday. Despite not having the best job, she always had a smile on her face and would always stop working and attempt to communicate with my friends and I. She was an extremely nice lady and every time I saw her it brought a smile to my face. My friends and I had created a pretty good bond with this lady by the time that most of us were going to move. We decided that we wanted to show her some gratitude for everything that she had done for us and for being such a nice person. We were all very young at the time so we couldn’t really buy her anything or do anything big but we decided that we wanted to do something. We decided to all make her a hand written card and give it to her a few days before we left. When we gave her our cards she had a huge smile on her face and could not say thank you enough. She seemed to be very happy about it and it made me and all of my friends feel very good.
Chapter 35: Looking Beyond Behavior
In your own words, describe the meaning of loving-kindness.
In my own words I would say that loving-kindness is caring for someone in a way that shows how much you truly appreciate them. Let's break it down in order to understand this strange term better. Loving. Love is something that you cannot control. Love is a very powerful feeling that is capable of taking over your entire life and completely changing who you are and how you act. Kindness is when you go out of your way to do something beneficial for someone else. When you mix these two powerful things together I think it can have either a very positive effect or a very negative one. So in my own words, I think loving-kindness is actually a simple concept, I think it's when you show kindness to someone that you love.
Chapter 36: See the Innocence
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of "their" story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation.
When we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, I think it enables us to truly understand someone and get to know them for ourselves. When you create a preconceived opinion of someone it creates a filter and a stereotype about someone that you will never be able to see through. This will stop you from being able to experience who someone truly is and actually get to know them for who they are. Nowadays there is so much negativity and drama in the world especially in high school that it inhibits people from being able to be who they want to be. It also inhibits others from getting the chance to meet people without having a preconceived opinion of them.
Chapter 37: Choose Being Kind Over Being Right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look to your ego first before you answer.
The dictionary defines equanimity as “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.” In my own words I would say this is being able to keep your calm when shit hits the fan. I do practice this in my life but MOST DEFINITELY not all the time and probably not even most of the time. I have recently gotten much better at this because of something that I learned while watching a podcast about happiness. The best thing you can do when something happens that makes you react in a negative emotional way is to apply the 5 minute rule. In order to use the 5 minute rule, once something bad happens you give yourself 5 minutes (or occasionally a little longer) to be pissed off, break things, call your friend and tell them what happend, complain, whine, or just do whatever you have to, once these 5 minutes are over you say these 4 words and go on with your life. “Nothing can change it.
Chapter 38: Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
If I were to choose 3 people to tell them I love them today I would choose my mom, Papa Rick, and my Oma. I would choose these three people because out of everyone in my life these three people have never once wished something negative about me. They always hope for the best, try to motivate me, and congratulate me when things go well. I also know that these people will love me unconditionally no matter what happens in my life. I have had their everlasting support since the day that I was born and I could not be any more thankful for this.
Chapter 39: Practice Humility
Describe a time when you saw an individual or a group lack humility. How did that make you feel about said individual/group? No need to share names in this example
I have seen this occur many times throughout my life especially during school sports. School sports are some of the most competitive things that I have ever been a part of. You are surrounded by a bunch of testosterone filled guys trying to score the most points and competing with one another. I rarely saw humility practiced while I was on the basketball court. Last year was my first and unfortunately last year playing varsity basketball. I remember one particular game we were playing a team who we had a little bit of a rivalry with. They were playing really well and their best player had scored nearly half of the teams points throughout the game. As he continued to score, he began to brag more and more. It made him look bad on the court and it also made him look bad off the court. After the game I talked to my parents about how they thought the game went and they immediately began to talk about how the star player on the other team was a terrible sport and needed to learn how to change his attitude. I also personally felt the same way. I think it is so much more impressive to be able to score a lot and be your teams best player while still practicing humility instead of bragging when you play well.
Chapter 40: When in Doubt about Whose Turn It Is to Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take It Out
What is your perspective/ opinion of this article? Valid, or a waste of time?
I agree and disagree with this article at the same time. While this can be okay on occasion I feel like it is not good for yourself to do this all the time. I say this because while you are able to help out someone you love by doing something that really isn’t that hard for you to do, you also put yourself in a situation where you become vulnerable to getting treated poorly. This happens with my brother all the time. We will get into an argument about some small chore that one of us had to do and we end up spending more time arguing than it would have taken to do the actual chore. At the end of the argument I just end up giving in and doing it to save time and effort, but since I always give in and do the chore, my brother now thinks that he can get away with arguing every single time until I give in so that he will never have to do anything. This causes me to put my foot down and stop helping him and giving in. Unfortunately, this is not what I want to do because I actually like helping my brother but he has made me act like this by taking advantage of me too many times.
Chapter 41: Avoid Weatherproofing
Do you weatherproof? Explain
I do weatherproof, but not often. I always try my best to make sure that I am not micromanaging my relationships with my friends and family. I know that I have a tendency to micromanage things and they normally do not turn out well after words. I also know that it is important to “weatherproof” certain parts of a relationship. I try to check in every two months or so and make sure everything is going well with the person that I share the relationship with. This enables me to not micromanage my relationship, while still making sure that everything is going smoothly in the relationship and that there is nothing that I need to work on or fix. This has helped me maintain many great relationships throughout my life and it has worked almost perfectly.
Chapter 42: Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love
Who do you choose to send love to in this moment?
In this moment I choose to love my mother. She has done everything for me in my life. She is the biggest role model and most important figure in my life. I have learned so much from my mother and I will never be able to repay her for everything that she has done for me. She raised me as a single mother for many years of my life and she was able to do a very good job…in my humble opinion. My mother is someone who I will always love no matter what. She has earned this for everything that she has done for me in my life and for unconditionally loving me no matter what happens in my life. Even though I love my mother all the time and I know that, this chapter has made me realize how important it is to express that and show it more often. This chapter has opened my eyes even more to the importance of always showing your gratitude because of the positive impacts it can have on your own life as well as the lives of other people who you choose to show love to on a daily basis.
Chapter 43: Become an Anthropologist
Reflect on the following: “judging others takes a great deal of energy, and without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.”
I agree with this quote. I find that judging people ends up being a waste of time and energy because at the end of the day you can never truly understand why someone is a certain way without asking them or getting to know them. This is why judging is a huge waste of time. I will be honest, I still judge people. Everyone judges people. However, I try to judge people in a non negative way, and in general I try not to judge at all. I also really agree with the second part of the quote where it says, “and without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.” I personally do not know anyone who wants to judge people and be a mean negative person. However, everyone that I know still judges people. This is because judging people is really easy to do. But I have also noticed that when other people, as well as myself, judge people, it tends to have a negative effect on their attitude and how they are acting during that period of time.
Chapter 44: Understand Separate Realities
Why is it important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world?
It is important to see the difference between one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world because our normal may not be the same normal that other people around the world have. I have experienced a lot of this “different normal” in many different places around the world. When I was 8 years old I moved from a small town in Colorado to one of the biggest cities in the world, Beijing, China, and that was most definitely the biggest change in normal that I have ever experienced and probably the biggest change in normals that I will ever experience. After living there for a while I became friends with many other “foreigners” that I had met inside of the gated community that I lived in. This gated community was nearly entirely full of people from other parts of the world who were here for job opportunities. I made friends with people from all over the world and when I would be invited into their homes I could tell how different their normal was from mine. This taught me at a young age that there are many different cultures around the world and that my normal can be completely different from someone else’s but that does not mean that their normal is weird or wrong.
Chapter 45: Develop You Own Helping Rituals
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness to others?
Some ways that you can spread kindness to others is by being kind. We recently had leadership training with Norm from Core Camp and one of the biggest things that I took away from this training was that being kind is free. I have known this for a long time but I have never truly thought about how Norm talked about it to the class. I know this was only one day ago but I have already started to apply this to my life and I have found that not only am I making other people happy but I also feel happiness when expressing my gratitude. This is a lesson that I have previously learned from the yearly gratitude video that we create in leadership. There are many benefits to being kind, so why can’t people be kind to others all the time?
Chapter 46: Everyday, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire or Appreciate about Them
Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I chose to send a text message to one of my best friends, Camryn Arriola. I have been really close friends with Camryn since 5th grade. We have grown apart a lot this year because of different friends and sports and things but I will always cherish having him as a friend and a brother. It made me feel really good to make sure that he knew I still appreciate having him as a friend. It started a really good conversation between the two of us and overall, I am very grateful that I took the time to reach out to him. I definitely will be doing this much more often and trying to spread kindness and happiness as much as possible.
Chapter 47: Argue for Your Limitations, and They're Yours
Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
A time when I had self doubt and set limitations on myself was freshman year before I started lifting. I was very insecure about how skinny I was and had a lot of self doubt. The way I changed this behavior was by starting to lift and get bigger and stronger. I know this might not be the “correct way” to overcome self doubt and that I should have just realized that I am perfect as I am and got over it. However, that's not the kind of person I am. The best way for me to make a change in my life is to get to work and do something. I am much better at controlling the physical aspects in my life rather than the emotional aspects.